Please God take me before Sammie. Or at least give me his suffering and pain. He doesn't deserve this God. He doesn't. He is so good and pure. He is true love embodied. 

Yesterday was one of the hardest days of my life. I stood tall because I have to for him. He is my everything. 

I am so afraid of what I am without him. Each day I have so many moments of joy and they are thanks to him. He is such a blessing, he is such light. I am so truly blessed and thankful. And I have given thanks. And I will continue to. But he does not deserve pain and agony. I can bear it for him. Please God if you are listening, please please please let me. I love him so purely. He deserves this. He is so good.